Where was I? Oh yes. The Puppy. We have a Jack Russell Puppy called Wilson. And yes, before you ask, he was named after the brand of volleyball from Castaway. Why? Because as Tom Hanks stood there, yelling for the ball to come back to him after he'd thrown it away in frustration, we realised that it was ideally suited to a dog. 'Wilsonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!' we giggled at the time. 'How quaint' we mused.
A dog that would no doubt get yelled at in puppy stages.
A dog that would probably take off with special toys of the children, run around the yard manically, all the while two small children crying out in terror for their toys while their bemused parents try not to laugh.
A dog that would crawl under the bed, barking madly as we tried not to wake the sleeping giant above, all the while brooms and assorted dog extracting paraphernalia utilised with little success.
And finally a dog that would apparently develop quicker than other dogs his age and proceed to hump everything in sight.
Including our other dog.
And the cat.
Which brings me to my Dad's dog, Jabba, who has just left this mortal coil at the age of 17 - not bad for a red heeler. Jabba had a strange attraction to soft toys, cushions and saddle blankets. Yes, correct, Jabba could regularly be found in compromising positions with any number of teddy bears or satin sheened cushion covers. We rest assured he's up there in doggy heaven now, happily humping away for eternity, that big lolling smile letting us all know how happy he will forever be.
So, um, question: have you ever found yourself frowning at your dog as you wonder what he's doing then too late realise that what he's doing isn't really what you want the children to see him doing? And not only is he doing it freely and with no shyness whatsoever, he's also got your other dog in his grip but unfortunately upside down... yes, poor Maisy was being unceremoniously graced with the rampaging hormones of a pubescent teen puppy who had no idea which end was which.
But once again, it gets worse. As I was sitting here just now, I saw a whisker of movement out of the corner of my eye. Lo and behold, the pumpee had become the pumper! It pains me to say this but my poor innocent little spayed female dog was BOLDLY HUMPING THE SKULL OF THE HUMPER!
Okay, so now I'm the confused one. The dogs obviously have no qualms whatsoever with acting out their fantasies, however perverse to the human eye. But should I put it down to her getting her own back for his unceremonious attempt to mate with her left ear or do I laugh it off and say 'dogs will be dogs'... I don't know. *wrings hands*
But one thing I do know is that if I come home and find our 11 year old spayed male cat in on the act, it is the pound for the lot of them!!