Wax on... Wax Off!

Okay, apologies people. I've been slack but honestly, I've not had a thing to write about. Until today.

My mother, who is about to go overseas on the Queen Mary II to the Far East (her words, not mine) was doubled over in hysterics by the time she'd finished telling me this story. She was clutching so hard at the sides of her red brick Ben Chifley style house that I thought she was going to remove mortar, the tears poured down her face and I had trouble deciphering her words through her screams of laughter.

In short, this is a story about waxing. Waxing is a lot more popular these days, with the deforestation otherwise known as the 'Brazilian' taking over youth, middle classes and those who don't mind looking like a prepubescent child.

But how old is too old to wax? Well, apparently 83 is always a good age. Yes, you read correctly. Turns out mum knows an 83 year old woman who has, at Christmas every year, popped down and had a hedge trim! Not that I'm expecting Peter Cundal to jump out from behind an Azalea and ask her if she wants Seasol with that, but you know what I mean, down she goes, whips off the Reg Grundies and asks for a little off the sides.  Good on her!

Personally, if it were me I'd be asking for some tinsel, lights and a sprig of holly just in case because you just never know...   But, I digress for our story doesn't end here. Ooooh no. This is the part where I say 'Gentlemen, hold your chestnuts'.  

So after a while Mum drew a breath and squeaked out that whilst this conversation was taking place at her women's sewing group (you're horrified, how do you think I feel?!), another woman piped up with an episode in life her husband would rather forget.

You see, apparently the said husband had continually told his wife that waxing couldn't possibly hurt and he didn't know why she complained. So she offered to wax him and he said 'Okay...'. Bad move. Very very bad move.   

Because not only did she apply wax, she applied it to his testicles... and then quickly ripped the strip off, removing not only follicles but part of his scrotum.  

He promptly passed out and quite frankly,  I couldn't understand a word Mum said after that so I can't tell you anymore. Last time I saw Mum, she was still doubled over with laughter, still clutching the side of the house and I don't think she'd finished packing for the 'Far East' yet... 

Motto of the story:  Girls,  you're never too old to wax and guys, you're never too stupid to try it.